Top 10 Shortest Celebrity Marriages

Yes, you’re seeing a lot of these lists.  I don’t care.  I wanted to write it anyway.  I promise to make it more interesting than the average, run-of-the-mill shortest celebrity wedding lists.  Here they are, the top 10 shortest celebrity marriages, in order of longest married to shortest married.  By “married’ we’re counting the amount of time between “I do” and separation, not necessarily divorce, so no nasty comments from the peanut gallery.  However, comments from the peanut gallery are welcome, so if they must be nasty, they must.

10. Pam Anderson and Kid Rock

Total Time in Wedded Bliss – 122 days or 2928 hours, or, according to Dave Kuehls, the amount of time it takes to train for a 4-hour marathon.  Speaking of 4-hour marathons, just how long was that sex tape Pamela Anderson made with Tommy Lee?

9. Jennifer Espisito and Bradley Cooper

Total Time in Wedded Bliss – 121 days, or 2904 hours, or the amount of time it takes (theoretically) to do a biographical reading of the Bible.  Somebody tell Pamela Anderson

(TIE)9. Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney

Total Time in Wedded Bliss – 121 days, or 2904 hours, or the amount of time it would supposedly take to make or break a habit. Perhaps Renee and Kenny should have WAITED 121 days for him to break the habits that would prematurely end his marriage.

8. Lisa Marie Presley and Nicholas Cage

Total Time in Wedded Bliss – 107 days, or 2568 hours, or the amount of time it would take to take the Princess World Cruise from Ft. Lauderdale to Venice.  If they had gone on the cruise, they may have been able to save their marriage, or one may have thrown the other overboard.  We’ll never know.

7. Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries

Total Time in Wedding Bliss- 72 Days, or 1728 hours, the amount of time Chilean rugby player Nando Parrado spent in the Andes trying to find help as detailed in his book Miracle in the Andes:  72 Days on the Mountain and My Long Trek Home.  What do you want to bet THAT dude didn’t make $17.5 million in book sales?

6. Drew Barrymore and Jeremy Thomas

Total Time in Wedded Bliss – 42 days, or 1008 hours, equal to the amount of days Michelle Obama reportedly spent on vacation in 2011.  Drew is such an Obama fan, maybe she went with.

5. Tracey Edmonds and Eddie Murphy

Total Time in Wedded Bliss – 14 days, or 336 hours, or one week less than the amount of time it takes a chicken egg to hatch.

(TIE)5. Ali Landry and Mario Lopez

Total Time in Wedded Bliss – 14 days, or 336 hours, or the amount of time it took designer Preston Moeller to make a chair out of 65,000 rubber bands.

4. Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman

Total Time in Wedded Bliss – 10 days, or 240 hours, or the amount of time it takes to complete the Yoga Teacher Training Course for Full Certification by the Wise Living Yoga Academy.  Carmen Electra reportedly practices “sexy yoga.”  Coincidence?

3. Michelle Phillips and Dennis Hopper

Total Time in Wedded Bliss – 8 days, or 192 hours, or the number of days a week it wasn’t enough for The Beatles to show you that they cared.

2. Britney Spears and Jason Alexander

Total Time in Wedded Bliss – 2 days, or 55 hours, or just over the amount of time it takes to fly around the world nonstop.

1. Robin Givens and Svetozar Marinkovic

Total Time in Wedded Bliss – 1 day, or 24 hours, or just the amount of time it takes to recover from a hangover.  Ahem.  24 hours is also the amount of time you’re supposed to think things over before you make a big desicion.  ROBIN.