Top 10: Notorious Band Managers

Band managers can be roguish characters with the authority of Donald Trump and the preening swagger of Jack Sparrow. Some of them can even manage to be more of a handful than the artists that they manage. There is no hall of fame for band managers, because such a hall would resemble more of a rogues’ gallery than a respectable institution. But, if there were such a grouping, then these managers would be in it.

10. Jon Landau

Notorious less for his behavior than his ascension to the ranks of the ultimate fan, Landau was the rare consistent critic. He declared Bruce Springsteen the future of rock and then left his position as a critic to help make it happen.

9. Steve O’Rourke

The best managers will walk through a brick wall for you. O’Rourke didn’t do that, but he did burst through a glass door in the service of Pink Floyd.

8. Doc McGhee

When you’re convicted of smuggling 40,000 pounds of marijuana into the U.S. while managing Mötley Crüe and Bon Jovi and you only make it to number 8 on this list, you know you must be up against stiff competition.

7. Sharon Osbourne

Reputed to have kneed a promoter in the groin to get results and ruining a company’s computer system when they distributed illegal merchandise, Sharon proves that managing Ozzy is second only to being President of the United States in terms of difficult jobs.

6. Murry Wilson

If you only hurt the ones you love, then the alleged 2X4 that Murry took to Brian Wilson’s head proved a greater love than any other. But his domineering ways and tough negotiating tactics proved that you can hurt others for the ones you love too.

5. Frank Weber

If you sue your former brother-in-law and manager for 90 million dollars due to accusations of accounting fraud, you’re either on a soap opera or you’re Billy Joel. It’s a good thing Joel divorced Frank’s sister, or family reunions would have become decidedly uncomfortable.

4. Peter Grant

Grant had the perfect background to be a band manager; he was a former bouncer. Renowned for his intimidating presence, Grant was equally known for the lengths that he would go to improve pay and conditions for Led Zeppelin and this influence was felt throughout the industry.

3. Malcolm McLaren

McLaren once said that his grandmother told him that “To be bad is good… to be good is simply boring.” In helping to bring the Sex Pistols to fame by having them blast their music on the Thames outside of Parliament, which got him arrested in the process, McLaren was clearly making grandma proud.

2. Brian Epstein

Even if you know nothing about the business of rock and roll, you know Brian Epstein. He helped bring the Beatles to the world, but also embroiled them in a series of unwise deals that cost them untold amounts of money. Maybe he took “All You Need Is Love” too literally.

1. Allen Klein

The man who helped bring us the Rolling Stones and who became Yoko Ono’s co-star in the break-up of the Beatles, Klein claimed to be the “biggest bastard in the valley.” By obtaining the rights to most of the Rolling Stones’ early hits as a condition of allowing them to not have him as manager, he showed he was at least the savviest.

As we’ve seen, some of these managers are the most notorious, ruthless, and conniving people that have walked the earth since Machiavelli. But, if their artists put out great music, is all of their behavior worth it? Maybe or maybe not, but you won’t see us stop dancing the night away.