Top 10: High School Science Fair Projects

When I got this assignment all I could think was “They want me to make fun of kids!” Something I’ve been doing since like 5th grade. Easiest assignment all year.

10. Poopie Science

A sphincter says “what”? Tell me the kid is giving away brownie samples, and please please PLEASE let that be a brownie in his hand.

9. New From Hasbro

It’s the GQ Snoop Dog doll! Yup they built a robot to look like Snoop. With cool “roach action grip” and “thumbs up technology” this 7/10 scale action figure is sure to be a hit in 2010. No we get it, it’s really a stoned Carlton….”Drop it like it’s haaaawt”

8. Who’s The Looser?

Looking at these two it’s kinda hard to tell who lost out on this partnership. Still, the producers of Pancreas teamed up again to bring us Pancreas 2: Back to the Gland.… and this time it’s hormonal!

7. Dirty Joke

“That’s right Stella… get it going nice and fast and…” ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzz. The poor girl with the wheel went from being called “four eyes” in fifth grade to starting Jr High as “Tread Face”. NOT NICE!

6. Dot Com Magnate

There’s no way in hell I’d trust this kid with my credit card information.

5. Big Business

The kid on the left is the son of a plastics manufacturer and the one on the right looks like the son of Donald Trump… yeah Son of Trump… Has a ring to it. I have to ask the same questions as Clarkson; Is Global Warming real? Why is Global Warming so cold? And why do I keep capitalizing it?

4. WHAT?!?!

Okay there was NO WAY I was buying this. There has been no report of HIV being transmitted during horse/man activities. Sexually transmitted diseases between barnyard animals and men might just be why Whales and portions of Scotland stay rural however… nah, still not buying it. AIDS isn’t funny kids… we’re not making fun of AIDS- just the retards who aren’t informed.

3. Animal WHAT?!

Trust me on this one kid- people who research animal magnetism never actually achieve it. Trying too hard yields zero results. HEY! LeTune, I should do a TOP 10 on this. Is the pick-up a science? You betcha! Ask Professor Getalot… he knows. The mustache is a nice touch though. I had one just like it when I was 8.

2. Coke-WHAT?!?!

I know… you’re wondering how I’m gonna rank on this one right? I’d love to be next to this project just so I could yell “COKE-LORE!?! Yeah buddy? Well, your Project’s a COKE-LORE! And your mom is too… beotch!” I went to a competitive school….. ***(If you didn’t get this joke say “coke-lore” five times fast.)

1. Finally… An Explanation

In an attempt to save his 4.0 grade point average C.A. Johnson explains why at times he cannot go to the chalkboard to do math problems. Following this lecture was a presentation on how to walk with your books strategically placed and the movie Pockets: Keeping it Loose.