Underwater Hockey

Games played with curved sticks and a ball have been played for thousands of years. First there was field hockey, then there was ice hockey, and now? Underwater hockey, of course. In this sport, which is also called Octopush, two teams of six try to push a puck using a stick into the opposing team’s goal. Although this sport is played around the world, it has not gained a major following. Perhaps because a sport played entirely underwater is not very spectator friendly.

Bossaball

Imagine a game of volleyball being played on the moon, and you’ve got the gist of bossaball. In this sport, each side of the court has a trampoline and each team of 3 to 5 players attempts to hit or kick the ball over the net to the opposing team’s side of the court. Like in volleyball, points are scored when the ball hits the floor.

Wife Carrying

Wife carrying, which originated in Sonkajärvi, Finland, is a sport in which male competitors race to carry their female teammate through an obstacle course in the shortest time. Not only does the winner of the Wife Carrying Championship in Sonkajärvi get the glory of being the number one wife carrier, he also wins his wife’s weight in beer. Although this sport would be very entertaining to watch, I can only imagine how funny it would be if the roles were reversed. Unfortunately, husband carrying hasn’t caught on yet.

Dog Surfing

This sport is further proof that animals are capable of more than we might imagine. Who knew that dogs could do more in the water than just doggy paddle? While this sport began in San Diego, there are now many dog surfing competitions all over southern California.

Unicycle Polo

As if just riding a unicycle didn’t look funny enough, add mallets and balls and you’ve got a truly wacky spectacle. I’m sure it’s a fun game for the participants, but just imagining unicyclists crashing into each other makes me burst into laughter.

Caber Toss

This sport is unique to this list, as it is the only one in which the participants wear skirts, err… I mean kilts. Caber toss is a traditional Scottish sport in which competitors throw large wooden poles called cabers. The object is not to throw the caber the furthest, but to have the top of it land near the thrower. This sport is thought to originate from the need to throw logs across gaps, in order to cross them.

Chess Boxing

The ultimate mash-up of brains and brawn, chessboxing is exactly what it sounds like. Competitors must be masters of both knocking out and checkmating opponents, as the sport involves alternating rounds of chess and boxing. I can only imagine that repeated blows to the head must affect their ability to develop chess strategies.

Cheese Rolling

Perhaps the only sport to involve food (besides competitive eating), cheese rolling is a tradition that is over 200 years old. Every year, on the Spring Bank Holiday, a round of cheese is rolled down Cooper’s Hill in Gloucester, England. Competitors race down the hill after the cheese, and the first one to the bottom wins the cheese. As silly as this event sounds, injuries are common, and the 2010 cheese rolling has been canceled due to safety concerns.

Blind Soccer

Imagine how hard it would be to live life day-to-day without vision. Now imagine playing a game of soccer with the same impairment. While the visually-impaired are usually unable to participate in athletic activities, blind soccer is a truly inspirational exception. All of the players are legally blind, except for the goal keeper, and the soccer ball has pebbles in it so the players can tell where it is.

Ferret Legging

While many sports require enduring pain, this sport is just plain masochistic. Competitors tie their pants at the ankles, drop two ferrets in their pants, and see how long they can endure getting their genitals bitten and scratched. The world record for this painful competition is five hours and thirty minutes. It was set in 1981 by Reg Mellor, whose trick was to make sure the ferrets were well-fed before putting them in his pants.

A fan of all things FC Barcelona, the Spaniard has a flair for the political, most recently gracing the 2010 FIFA World Cup wearing a t-shirt that read “Jimmy Jump Against Racism”. Another Jimmy Jump sabotage with a positive message came during the 2008 UEFA Europe semi-finals, when Jimmy carried a Tibetan flag and wore a t-shirt with a pro-Tibet slogan.

Here are the top ten Jimmy Jump sport sabotage moments. Love him or hate him, you have to admit that Jimmy is a master of invading sporting events.

1. UEFA Euro 2004

The first in a long string of high profile sports invasions for Jimmy, July 4, 2004 found Jimmy jumping his way onto the pitch during a match between Greece and Portugal. Jimmy was attempting to shame Portugal’s captain Luis Figo for “abandoning” FC Barcelona, his favorite team. His attempt at hitting Figo with a Barcelona team flag missed the mark, setting the stage for many of Jimmy’s inept attempts at sabotage.

Watch YouTube Clip

2. FIFA World Cup 2010

Before the start of the 2010 World Cup championship game between Spain and the Netherlands, Jimmy Jump attempted to place a hat on the Cup itself, but was tackled by nearly a dozen guards before he was able to get his hands anywhere near his prize.

Watch YouTube Clip

3. 2009 French Open Men’s Singles final match (Roger Federer)

This photo shows Jimmy attempting to cover eventual French Open champion Roger Federer’s head in an unidentified flag. Jimmy was eventually tackled by guards after tripping in an attempt to scale the net to freedom.

Watch YouTube Clip

4. 2010 Eurovision Song Contest

Wearing a shit emblazoned with the name of his website, Jimmy Jump made his way onstage during the Spanish presentation at Eurovision in 2010. His attempt at sabotage was unsuccessful this time, as Spain was allowed a “re-do” at the end of the contest.

Watch YouTube Clip

5. 2007 Rugby World Cup final

The beginning of the second half of championship play between England and South Africa was interrupted by Jimmy, though he was subdued before it was clear what he was attempting to do that day in France.

Watch YouTube Clip

6. UEFA Euro 2008 semi-final

This bit of Jimmy Jump sabotage is noteworthy because of its political aspirations. Wearing a shirt that says “Tibet is Not China”, Jimmy ran onto the pitch at the end of the match between Germany and Turkey.

Watch YouTube Clip

7. 2007 UEFA Champions League final

As Milan and Liverpool squared off in 2007, Jimmy Jump attempted to take advantage of the huge television audience by invading the field carrying an unidentified flag. Unfortunately for him, he received no airtime and was cut from the broadcast.

Watch YouTube Clip

8. 2006 UEFA Champions League

This performance by Jimmy (which predicted the transfer of Thierry Henry to FC Barcelona) would eventually cost him a £60,000 fine.

Watch YouTube Clip

9. 2004 Spanish Grand Prix

A rare appearance at a racing event found Jimmy Jump running right through the starting line, proving that Jimmy is brave, if not a little foolhardy.

Watch YouTube Clip

10. Real Madrid v Barcelona

On November 19th, 2005, Jimmy invaded the pitch during this La Liga match wearing a shirt that read (in Spanish) Jump Jump Jimmy Jump. As usual, he was tackled before endangering any players or fans.

Watch YouTube Clip

10. Temuri Ketsbaia

Newcastle United player Temuri Ketsbaia celebrated scoring a goal against the Bolton Wanderers during a 1997 Premiership match by ripping off his shirt and then rushing over to the advertisements on the sidelines, where he began to kick them repeatedly.

Watch YouTube clip

9. Craig Bellamy

In February 2007, Craig Bellamy drunkenly attacked Liverpool teammate John Arne Riise with a golf club during a karaoke-related altercation, earning him the nickname “The Nutter with the Putter”. During the first match following the incident, Bellamy scored a goal against Barcalona and celebrated by emulating a golf-stroke.

Watch YouTube clip

8. Paul Gascoigne

Another controversy-mimicking celebration occurred during a Euro 1996 championship match. After England player Paul Gascoigne scored a goal against Scotland, he laid on his back while his teammates poured water into his open mouth. This celebration was a reenactment of a controversial incident, in which England players were photographed in a nightclub, sitting in a dentist’s chair, while alcoholic drinks were poured down their throats.

Watch the YouTube clip

7. Fabián Espíndola

Six minutes into a September 2008 match against Los Angeles Galaxy, Real Salt Lake player Fabián Espíndola scored a goal, after which he performed his customary backflip celebration. However, the backflip did not go as planned and he sprained his ankle, taking him out for eight weeks. To add insult to injury, the goal was later declared offside.

Watch YouTube clip

6. Finidi George

After scoring a goal against Greece during a 1994 World Cup match, Nigerian player Finidi George ran to the corner flag, got down on all fours, and imitated a dog urinating.

Watch YouTube clip

5. Ian Wright

During a Premiership game against Bolton, Arsenal F.C. player Ian Wright scored a goal, and, believing he had beat Cliff Bastin’s record of 178 goals for Arsenal, took his shirt off to reveal a vest bearing the words “Just Done It”. However, he had merely tied the record, but was able to redeem himself 5 minutes later by scoring another goal, after which he correctly exposed his vest.

4. Paolo Di Canio

Twice in 2006, Lazio player and self-proclaimed fascist Paolo Di Canio celebrated goals by giving the fascist-related Roman salute to fans of Mussolini’s favorite team. After the second incident he was suspended and fined €7,000.

3. Robbie Fowler

In 1999, Liverpool player Robbie Fowler celebrated a goal against Everton by getting down on all fours and miming the act of snorting cocaine, with the white touchline playing the park of the line of cocaine. Although manager Gerard Houllier claimed the act was a “Cameroonian grass eating celebration”, Fowler was fined £60,000.

Watch YouTube clip

2. Paulo Diogo

During a December 2004 game against FC Schaffhausen, Servette FC player Paulo Diogo set up a goal for Jean Beausejour. To celebrate, Diogo jumped up and grabbed a metal perimeter fence. His wedding ring got caught and his finger was ripped off when he jumped off. Later, doctors were unable to reattach his finger.

1. José Antonio Reyes

After Sevilla’s José Antonio Reyes scored against Valladolid during a 2001 match, teammate Francisco Gallardo congratulated him by bending down and nibbling on his penis. For this act, he was fined and suspended by the Spanish Football Federation.

10. Sam Langford

Langford stood only 5 ft 6½ in and weighed 185 lb in his prime. Though not even considered medium sized by today’s heavyweight standards Langford retired with a 214-46-44 record. Heavyweight champion Jack Dempsey said “The hell I feared no man. There was one man I wouldn’t fight because I knew he would flatten me. I was afraid of Sam Langford.”

9. Jack Dempsey

Speaking of Jack Dempsey, this 6′ 1″ heavyweight was known for his punching power and tenacity. Not many were as tough as Dempsy. His final record was 66-6-11, for this day and age that’s a fairly long record. After a controversial loss to Gene Tunney, Dempsey retired from boxing, but the name Jack Dempsey is still very much associated with boxing some 80 years later.

8. Jack Johnson

No, not the performer. This Jack Johnson was known as the “Galveston Giant.” Having won the heavyweight title in 1908 beating Tommy Burns, the world was so shaken by such a dominant black boxer Jack London called out for a strong challenger, thus coining the phrase “The Great White Hope.” That hope appeared as the undefeated James J. Jefferies who came out of retirement in 1910 to fight Johnson. The result was a Johnson victory and race riots across the country.

7. Benny Leonard

Known as the “Jewish Wizard” this boxer went a total fights of 217 with 183 wins (70 by KO) 19 losses and 11 draws. Leonard was a dominate lightweight known for speed and power. Shortly after coming back out of retirement his career ended on October 7, 1932 when he was TKOed in 6 rounds by future champion Jimmy McLarnin.

6. Roberto Duran

The unorthodox stanced Panama born Duran retired with a record of 103 Wins, 16 Loss, 69 Knockouts in 2002 at the age of 50. Yes, that’s a five with a zero behind it. Duran was a serious ring mixer who only knew how to punch three ways: hard, fast and often. As a welterweight he beat the incomparable Sugar Ray Leonard before becoming a dominant middleweight.

5. Willie Pep

Having once actually won a round without throwing a punch, Willie Pep was beyond the exemplification of grace and fluidity. In that moment, that 180 seconds, he was the greatest boxer of all time. His record came out to 229 wins, 11 losses and 1 draw, with 65 wins by knockout.

4. Joe Louis

“The Brown Bomber” is probably one of the most recognizable names on this list, Joe Louis was an everyman to a lot of boxing fans. This 6′ 2″ heavyweight boxing legend was known as a hard worker inside and outside the ring. Finishing out his careers at 65 Wins (51 knockouts, 13 decisions, 1 disqualification), 3 Losses (2 knockouts, 1 decision) Louis lost his last fight in 1951 to Rocky Marciano, but not before he had defeated the likes of Max Schmeling and Max Baer.

3. Henry Armstrong

Armstrong has the distinction of being the only boxer to hold three world championships at the same time. He also defended the Welterweight championship more times than any other fighter. With a career record of 181 Fights – 151 Wins, 101 KOs, 21 Losses, 9 Draws Hurricane Henry still remains of of the most famous boxers in boxing history.

2. Muhammad Ali

Ali was impressive as both a boxer and a promoter… of himself. Despite how anyone might feel about him on a personal level, Ali did 2 things; kept the world interested and fought in some of the most interesting fights in boxing history. To be honest his record of 56 Wins (37 knockouts, 19 decisions), 5 Losses (4 decisions, 1 retirement), 0 Draws doesn’t seem too impressive until you look at who he fought; Ken Norton (2x), Sonny Liston (2x), George Foreman, Leon Spinks and Joe Frazier. His class was a tough one.

1. Sugar Ray Robinson

The original Sugar Ray saw 200 fights in his career and inspired the next two or three generations of boxers after him. Robinson retired from boxing with a record of 175-19-6 with 110 knockouts in 200 professional bouts, ranking him among the all-time leaders in knockouts.

10. Alfala

This guy was figure skating for Darla to the tune of “You Are So beautiful To Me”

9. Call an Abulance

Is this guy having a stoke or doing a triple sowtow? You decide figureskating fans, but someone needs to get a spoon in his mouth before he swallows his tongue.

8. Country Superstar Joins Icecapades

No, K.D. Lang did not join the icecapdes, and neither did Annie Lennox. That’s a guy…. we think. I really wish I knew figures skaters….

7. Look Alike

Micheal Hutchison from INXS killed himself because he heard someone say he looked like this guy. (We are SO going to get sued.)

6. “FIGHT THE POWER!”

There’s nothing scarier than a militant gay guy with blades on his feet. Unless you think about George Carlin’s “Cross-eyed nun with a bottle of gin and a bullwhip.” That’s a whole other TT10 list though.

5. Sheer Terror

Nothing says “elegance” like the look of sheer terror. What’s going on here? Did she just get her partner yesterday? Did she find out that the concession stand was all out of chicken nuggets and poonteen? WHAT IS THE DEAL?

4. Inbreeding is an International Problem

How do you say, “I’d like me some of them french fried tatters” in Chinese? I’m not sure, but if there were to be a poster admonishing having sex with your first cousin, this would be the graphic.

3. Drunken Master

After vanquishing 30 foes, the Drunken Master then proceeds to figure skate around the village in his red and black sparkly outfit…

2. ROWL!

Even without the goofy facial expressions, this is hands-down one of the stupidest looking outfits I have ever seen on skaters. It’s almost like they got together and said “We need to shake things up this year and do something different… LET’S BE FRENCH CLOWNS!” Um, even I know that’s played out.

1. Good Lord!

I know what it looks like… that’s why it’s #1.

This ad started of the phrase ‘ole’ when you nut meg (tunnel) someone.. the kids I coached loved this word.

9. Carlsberg Pub Team Advert

This ad was done by Carlsberg, in keeping with their slogan “if Carlsberg did football teams they would probably be the best in the world”. Every one single player in this ad is an English football legend, with members of the 1966 world cup winning team to players from the 80s and 90s, and the manager.

8. Adidas FIFA World Cup 2006 Germany Commercial

Addidas ad, with some of their stars on display, this featured before the 2006 world cup.

7. Rooney Nike ad, takes aim at camera

6. Nike Advert – JogaTV

I love this one, that pitch is in my area called westway, and sums up street football. Its all about skills.

5. Parklife Nike Ad

This is what Sunday amateur football is all about. Legends playing Sunday amateur football,, Ian Wright, Robbie Fowler, Eric Cantona, David Seamen.

4. Nike Football Ad Airport Scene

This was one of the original Nike ads that set the standard: The Brazil team at the airport.

3. Nike Commercial – Ronaldinho Joy

Clips of Ronaldihno as a boy playing football, skillzzzzzzz.

2. Nike: Take It To the Next Level

Great ad in first person view by Nike.

1. The Cage (Nike Advert)

My personal favourite. Cage football, 3 on 3 first goal wins.